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for better . . .

from the book:

In 1993, a group of German neuroscientists are believed to have been among the first to scan the brain to see what it looked like in various emotional states, including passionate love.  In the brain scanner, the scientists concluded, the patterns of romantic love look like “mental chaos.”

. . . Anyone who has ever loved doesn’t need an Arabic lesson to understand that all love is not the same.  The love we feel for our children is different from what we share with our friends, lovers, or spouses.  And even within a romantic relationship, we experience varying degrees of life, and even the type of love we feel can change over time.

. . . California State University sociologist Terry Hatkoff has identified six basic styles of love.  They are:

  • Romantic – marked by passion and sexual attraction
  • Best Friends – feelings of deep affection and caring
  • Logical – when practical issues like money, religion, and values influence feelings
  • Playful – the excitement of flirtatious and challenging interaction
  • Possessive – marked by feelings of jealousy and obsession
  • Unselfish – marked by nurturing, kindness, and sacrifice

. . . Getting divorced is listed as worse even than going to jail.  Here are the top ten most stressful life events.

  1. Death of a spouse
  2. Divorce
  3. Marital separation
  4. Going to jail
  5. Death of a close family member
  6. Personal injury or illness
  7. Marriage
  8. Getting fired
  9. Reconciling with a spouse
  10. Retirement

I can attest to this

Opposites attract, unquestionably; there are peaceable, unpredictable couplings of carnivores and vegetarians, dog lovers and cat lovers, spendthrifts and cheapskates. But politics can make people apoplectic, particularly in a climate of partisan sniping and in-your-face punditry from MSNBC and Fox News.

. . . They keep from “murdering each other” by acknowledging that politics is never a zero-sum game.

Hand-holding across the aisles

an answered prayer

The Man I Prayed For

Dear God, I prayed, all unafraid
(as we’re inclined to do),
I do not need a handsome man
but let him be like You;
I do not need one big and strong
nor yet so very tall,
nor need he be some genius,
or wealthy, Lord, at all;
but let his head be high, dear God,
and let his eye be clear,
his shoulders straight, whate’er his state,
whate’er his earthly sphere;
and let his face have character,
a ruggedness of soul,
and let his whole life show, dear God,
a singleness of goal;
then when he comes
(as he will come)
with quiet eyes aglow,
I’ll understand that he’s the man
I prayed for long ago.

by Ruth Bell Graham

Quote of the Day

Posted on

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

– Gilbert Keith Chesterton, 1874-1936