Madeleine L’Engle writes in Glimpses of Grace Daily Thoughts and Reflections that
. . . The search for grace, costly grace, involves an acceptance of pain and the creative grief which accompanies growth into maturity. Don’t be afraid the pain will destroy the wholeness. It leads, instead to the kind of wholeness that rejoices in Resurrection.
No one dares to grieve who does not dare to love, and love is always part of costly grace. It has been said that before we can give love we must first have received love, and indeed love is a response to love.
. . . But in thinking about love and grief we must be careful not to confuse either with that sentimentality which is part of cheap grace. The kind of loving grief I’m talking about involves acceptance of the precariousness of life and that we will all die, but our wholeness is found in the quality rather than the quantity of our living.
. . . We live in a time where costly grace is what makes life bearable; more than bearable–joyful and creative, so that even our grief is part of our partnership in co-creation with God.